Dear Diary,
As I sit here at the no-named super hero headquarter spot waiting on Storm to arrive for some special meeting, I am realizing that I put too much conditioner in my hair this morning. Shit. Damn it Diary. I can't ever do anything right. I was wondering why my hair had such a glossy sheen. Oh Diary, why am I a mess? Does one ever stop being a mess? I really hope so. Oh well, I am gonna put this thing down so I can keep talking to Glitter. It is rude to be carrying on a conversation while my nose is in this notebook. I will return soon Diary!
-Miss MMiss M: Glitter, were you ever in love before Brian?
Glitter: Let me access my data and pull up the results Miss M.
Miss M: Ok. I will wait. I am only really asking anyways because I think about my love life and how there always seems to be someone so close to being some epic love but then everything usually falls apart.
Glitter: My data has been assessed. I was experiencing the love sensations before the specimen known as Brian Farrell entered my life.
Miss M: Can you tell me about this great love?
Glitter: Yes. Of course. I once was involved with a robot who was part of an elite security task force at a large shopping complex known as a mall by human standards. He cared for me very much but something happened and he was destroyed by randy teens.
Miss M: Oh that just sounds terrible.
Glitter: Yes Miss M. It was. We were created from the same lab. Our key electronic components fit so well.
Miss M: I am sorry it could not work out.
Glitter: It is fine now Miss M. I have met the love of Brian. My circuit board does not require anything else. From my data analysis I can see that matters of love account for 92% of your neurotic neural data functions. Have you ever thought of shutting down that section and focusing the networks of the remaining 8% of data space?
Miss M: Umm I mean, sure. Why not? Who needs stupid boys and their love drama anyway. I can shut down that 92% easy.
Glitter: It is not easy. I have done the research on your data processing.
Miss M: I am fine being single. I just want to know that someone ends up growing old with me, ya know? I don't need the mystery man's identity to be revealed right now or even to meet him a week from now. I just want to know that I will be ok.
Glitter: Miss M, you are also the crime fighting hero known as WoW. You will always be ok based on my computations of your fighting skills. I could run a program though to narrow down who your top three matches should be in Toy Valley. Would you like me to compute that?
Miss M: You can do that?
Glitter: Of course. I am highly adept at processing such data. I will know that information for you soon.
Miss M: Great.
Storm arrives!
Miss M: Oh Storm, delightful! You are here. I have good news. Oola and Billy are on assignment. They are at a press conference of President Chocula and they are trying to see if there is any Cobra presence there.
Storm: Wonderful. I know they will do their very best.
Miss M: Yep! So, you wanted to meet with me?
Storm: Yes. M, I am not sure how to tell you this. I have to leave the team.
Miss M: What?! You are our leader! You are the best leader any super hero team could ask for!
Storm: I know. I am truly honored to have gone on the missions we have been on. I must leave though. This new team has been great, and by the goddess, we have saved some lived. However my dear dork friend, my heart will always belong to the fate of mutants and the X-Men. They need me right now.
Miss M: I understand. Sort of. Not really. With you gone, who will lead us?
Storm: Oh M, you will.
Miss M: I know you can fly high Storm, but are you actually like flying high-high right now? I can't lead this no named super hero team.
Storm: Of course you can. Why not?
Miss M: Because I am not fabulous like you. Everyone knows you make the best leader.
Storm: M, you know as well as I that you have the potential to do this. Besides, I will only be in upstate New York. I won't be that far. I'll certainly be here as much as I can. For now though my dear, you are the leader in my absence.
Miss M: Does this mean we have to fight over it in the sewers? Or will you just hand the title over to me?
Storm: Yes. As simple as that. I only had to fight for my leadership that once and that was only because Scott Summers was being a real turd.
Miss M: Yeah. He is a real turd.
Storm: You have no idea.
Miss M: I'm really going to miss you.
Storm: I won't be far.
Miss M: All right. Let's do dinner next week. Ok?
Storm: Of course.
They hug each other tight.
Meanwhile,
At the large extravagant mansion of the President and First Lady...Strawberry Shortcake: Honey. Count Chocula, are you busy?
President Chocula: I told you to call me President Chocula.
Strawberry Shortcake: What is the matter with you? You are my husband. There are no cameras or press conferences right now. This is just us.
President Chocula: There are always cameras on us. You are wrong. This is more than just our love. I am ruler of the free world now.
Strawberry Shortcake: I know which has me worried. The man I fell in love with is not the man standing here. You have been so divisive. You have enacted policies that are tearing the United Toys of America apart. You don't even look like my husband anymore. Where is my husband at!? I just want my husband back!
President Chocula: I am right here. I am the same man you fell in love with. I have bigger things to worry about though. I have to keep everyone out, to make this country better for what I have in store for it.
Strawberry Shortcake: Don't you see how weird you sound? What do you have in store for this country? You were running on the platform of free sugary cereal for everyone. Now you just seem evil.
President Chocula: (pauses) Evil is subjective.
Strawberry Shortcake: What are you looking at? (turns around)
Strawberry Shortcake: Cobra Commander?! And the singer Pink?!
Cobra Commander: This is my colleague Zarana. She does sing rather well though.
Zarana: That's right. When I am slicing my way through little bitch's necks I sing real pretty.
Strawberry Shortcake: Gulp. What is going on?
Cobra Commander: President Chocula, good job so far, but we can't have the First Lady finding out our plans. She is beginning to know too much.
Strawberry Shortcake: What is this? They were all right. You had Cobra help rig the election. Why would you do that Count Chocula? No. You aren't my husband. Who are you?
President Chocula: Ding ding ding. The real Count Chocula is somewhere in this building!
Cobra Commander: And you will be seeing him soon Shortcake.
Strawberry Shortcake: You can't do this.
Cobra Commander: Zarana take her to the dungeon where she can be with her berry sweet husband. Hahaha. Oh and Zarana, prepare to assume the position of the new First Lady.
Zarana: With pleasure.
Zarana: Come on. Let's go. You smell funny.
Strawberry Shortcake: I smell like that when I get nervous.
Strawberry Shortcake screams in terror as she is taken away to a dungeon.
Cobra Commander: Good work Zartan. Your disguise as Count Chocula has been perfect.
President Chocula aka Zartan: Yes. We just need to keep disrupting the fabric of society. No one will suspect a thing.
Cobra Commander: And soon Cobra will once again have its grip on the world!!!
Evil laughter fills the halls of a once hauntingly sweet mansion.
Up Next!
Miss M and meets up with April!
Evil gathers for a special meeting in the Fright Zone!
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